Justin Baldoni is a Mean Boy

Industry insiders confirmed earlier today that Justin Baldoni’s desperate attempts to repair his image after his mass cancellation— the public’s barrage against him for his vindictive, unlikable, mean, and aggressive behavior on and off the set of It Ends With Us— with A-list, star-studded, classy Blake Lively rightfully suing him for this vile behavior— reportedly resulted in him having several fits of hysteria with his team. As the extent of Baldoni’s lack of assets was revealed earlier this week, potentially explaining his behavior on set, he is now rudely suing the New York Times for diligently reporting on his greatest shame. 

Candid of Baldoni dissociating in office, covered in Lively's evidence against him

Amidst the harrowing allegations against Baldoni, users are continuing to speculate about his additional lies coming to light. This all began when a clip resurfaced of Baldoni with his co-star in 2013, which candidly revealed Baldoni spreading his legs widely. Baldoni’s large spread made it so he brushed up against his co-star’s leg for the entirety of the interview, who was sitting on the other end of the couch. The interviewer, who later reposted the interview titled: ‘The interview that made me want to quit,’ was seen gazing upon the spread of Justin Baldoni before him. Baldoni indeed had a much smaller bulge than users were used to seeing in this viral clip, sparking intense dialogue— most likely due to his supposed large penis being central to his brand. This was just the calm before the storm for Baldoni. Users, after the dust settled, watched the interview with fresh eyes, and were free to zoom in and comment, “The interviewer’s eyes glazed over, in pitiful tears for Baldoni,” referring to the moment right before the interviewer said: “Congrats on your little bump.” Outraged, Baldoni covertly snapped back, saying, “Congrats on your little bump,” with a mean-boy smile on his face. The two men proceeded to stare at each other’s manhoods or lack thereof. There or not, the room was charged, as reported multiple times by the interviewer who is not named because our sources cannot remember it. The interviewer went on to say, “After that, Justy acted like I didn’t exist. He was just giggling with his co-star, not even answering any of my attention-grabbing questions for clout. I was humiliated. I have seen his struggles with his penis-size first-hand. He made me sign an NDA afterward. But now, he can’t get mad at me for this. He has enough problems to deal with.” 

Industry peers recently photographed collectively staring at Baldoni with disgust and pity

Internet users harken Baldoni’s lashing out on the set of It Ends With Us— with his egotistical power-trip against Blake Lively and the entire crew— to a multi-decades-long struggle with his penis size. Lively is quoted saying: “He keeps showing me photos of random men’s penises and claiming them as his own. He was so focused on sexually harassing me, that I actually had to rework the whole movie into something even passably watchable. Even though he plays an abuser on set, while also being an abuser in real life, he can’t even method-act properly. He would go cross-eyed when I called him ‘Ryle’ during filming because he kept forgetting he wasn’t supposed to be playing himself. Everyone would always tell him, ‘It’s a different abuser, Justin!’ He wouldn’t listen and would just open his mouth halfway while staring at my boobs. Anyway, he had no respect for the integrity of the character, so we had to CGI his image into so many of the scenes, and also hire a voice actor.” She goes on to say, “Unlike him, I actually go on a film set to work. He’s always having some meltdown. Like giving us all the silent treatment after a videographer told Justin to stop groping him. He literally went into a corner and started crying. He only really cares about seeing people intimidated by him. He’s a narcissist. After me and the crew healed from this in therapy after spending 40k, all I have to say about this situation is that it's really annoying, honestly. Can we just, like, do our jobs, please? No, now I have to sue the creep because he can’t leave me, or anyone else really, alone.” Lively allegedly rolled her eyes and flipped off the It Ends With Us movie poster after making this statement. Internet users have gone on to observe every single public appearance Baldoni has ever made, seeing how Baldoni is not only vindictive but also a spoiled brat due to his shameless entitled attitude on his I Don’t Beat Women Like Other Guys podcast. He had long, meandering conversations with his cohost, providing anecdotes that his frequently-mentioned wife told him every day of their marriage, like: “Please don’t interrupt me every time I’m speaking,” and “Please stop repeating the joke I made louder so everyone laughs at you.” Users are calling him entitled to his more intelligent and likable wife’s jokes. They also made several viral comments about how he’s mooching off his more successful wife’s career, and only ever talks about how good he treats her in his I Don’t Beat Women Like Other Guys podcast, but everyone can clearly tell from the look in her eyes that she is just waiting to leave Baldoni quietly as soon as this story blows over. 

Industry insiders have also gone on to say that Baldoni was seen in a dark corner several times on set, reportedly foaming at the mouth whenever Lively entered a room. Through several leaked complaints, it apparently got so bad that several cast members pleaded with Baldoni’s management to check him into a mental institution, due to his complete inability to act like he had a fully-developed prefrontal cortex as a 40-something man. It was also reported that whenever Lively approached Baldoni to speak to him, asking him one of her three pre-planned questions, including: ‘Can we shoot the scene soon?,’ Baldoni would start aggressively flailing his arms, screaming, “Show me your boobs first!” When Lively calmly told him, “No, Justin, we’re going to have another meeting with HR,” Baldoni would throw himself on the floor, screaming, “You’re ugly! I’m not even attracted to you!” Crew members report that they were shocked he didn’t get fired from his own movie that he was directing and that his own production company bought— although many internet users speculate that Baldoni’s wife helped him maintain his career and image— because Baldoni has been using his wife for so many years to seem like a good person. Crew members were unsure if they were locked in NDAs because Baldoni passed them out the first day of shooting with a singular statement scribbled in crayon: ‘Don’t say mean things about my penis.’ Crew members were extremely confused, as no one ever once thought about Baldoni’s penis until he brought it up— a common theme across Baldoni’s life it seems. 

Some of Baldoni’s ex-fanboys also accused Baldoni of using his brand— promoted in tandem with It Ends With Us— to overshadow the film’s core message to audiences: domestic violence. Some have taken to the internet to say, “Showcasing how men really do beat women on the big screen is the most important part of this movie, especially for real victims.” Many think it’s disgusting that Baldoni had the gall to promote his personal brand during the promotion of a movie that is supposed to be an important, relevant film to our current patriarchal, capitalistic culture. Some begrudgingly dispute this specific claim against Baldoni, and call it standard marketing for most major blockbusters. They cite examples such as REM Beauty by Ariana Grande being promoted, with special edition collections coming out during the Wicked Movie. Most disagree, saying Baldoni went way too far in actually using the film to promote his personal brand, instead of the other way around. Many believe Baldoni should have done more to actually uplift real victims by not victimizing people himself, and only taking on the project to promote his personal brand of being a large penis owner— hence overshadowing the thesis of the film. Additionally, most say the promotion of his personal brand while using real victim’s stories on his social media pages is just further evidence of his covert, mean, unlikable, vindictive, and bullying ways. 

Baldoni, according to sources close to him, actually went hard in advocating for his character, Ryle Kincaid, to beat Lily Blossom Bloom for at least 80% of the film. Baldoni reportedly, from everyone else’s team, had no control over the final cut of the movie and only whined about why he couldn’t just “beat Blake” the whole movie. Since all of their footage is just Baldoni beating Lively, she reportedly had to make do with what she could, with the power she did have against his production company. Baldoni is quoted saying, “Other movies aren’t dealing with the gravitas of the issue of men beating women, where domestic violence victims— the largest money-making group for this movie— flock in droves to the big screen to give themselves peace of mind, only to be let down if they aren’t seeing true, realistic depictions of being beat themselves. They can thank me for that, regardless of what I’m doing outside the art I created.” One real victim is quoted right after seeing the movie premier, saying: “Although I appreciated the effort, I would’ve liked it if they focused more on Lily Blossom Bloom’s story. Like if they made it a story of hope for victims, where we could embrace our personal self-expression, like Lily bringing her florals wherever she goes— instead of the gritty realism where Ryle is just beating the shit out of her for most of the movie. I also would’ve liked it if they promoted the movie for us to bring our florals and our friends in solidarity with all survivors; it would have been a more palatable way to spark conversation. Domestic violence should be treated like the delicate topic that it is.” In a survey taken after the film, 72% of real victims wished they had shown fewer domestic violence scenes, and focused more on Lily’s story of finding her sense of self again. Baldoni’s team made a statement in response to this: “We wanted to add as much gritty realism into our Domestic Violence movie as possible. That is why Baldoni made sure to abuse Lively in character and as himself, so she would really know what it’s like. We expect the public to understand how much we uplifted the female gaze as male feminists, through our completely realistic Domestic Violence movie.” Lively has since been extensively praised by the public for trying her hardest to make the movie as palatable as possible while dealing with being abused on set. Many call her “a hero.” 

In the weeds of all this, internet sleuths uncovered their most important find yet: Baldoni’s overarching scheme. His brand promotion wasn’t just to overshadow survivors of domestic violence, but it was also to compensate. Baldoni’s brand, launched a few days before the It Ends With Us premier: Justin’sJovialJunkTM, was the talk of the town among men of all ages. Featuring sleek, metallic, hand-crafted pieces of junk, men all over the world were swarming Walmarts to buy this shiny product. However, sales tanked for many reasons. People wised-up and realized how Baldoni does not care about women; and worse, the men realized they weren’t buying a replica of Baldoni’s penis. The internet sleuths outdid themselves this time, discovering candid, never-seen-before photos of Baldoni on set without Justin’sJovialJunkTM attached to his nether regions. They compared Baldoni’s press photos featuring a massive bulge with behind-the-scenes photos. Zooming in, the sleuths were shocked to discover that his groin area was desolate and flat in the leaked photos. Angry and confused from Baldoni lying to them for his entire career, building himself up as this large-penis-owner, they took to the streets. Adding gasoline to the flame, a leaked text message from Jennifer Abel— Baldoni’s new public relations manager and astroturfer— was released, with her saying, “Our client just wants reassurance that we can cover up his small penis size.” Another more irrelevant public relations person and astroturfer named Melissa Nathan was quoted, as saying, “That’s why you hired me! We can bury anything, even when it’s borderline nonexistent.” The public was shocked to discover just how terrible these public relations people and astroturfers are at their jobs. 

Ex-fans ended up finding Baldoni’s old high school acquaintance at his workplace as a sales executive. “Who?” this sales executive asked. “Get out, or I’ll call security,” the sales executive is quoted saying. “Okay, fine, yes. I remember when I saw him in the locker room, he looked exactly like a Ken Doll. I couldn’t even make fun of him for it because it was so bad. I mean there was nothing there. You need to leave now.” This quote from the sales executive has since gone viral. 

New footage has also resurfaced of Baldoni lifting Producer Jamey Heath easily. The two stared at each other for a long while, and then, miraculously, both started floating due to the complete lack of weight in their groin areas. Baldoni speaks to Heath softly in the released footage; and Baldoni reportedly felt like he “belonged” with Heath after this moment— having an epiphany that they are “true partners in crime.” They are reportedly floating around in space right now, comatose, hopefully, to never be seen or heard from again. 

Xoxo,

Girl in the World